🌿 CHAPTER 3 — What We Did Next

 

My whole life has revolved around solving problems.  But this proved to be an impossible task.

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Nevertheless we did a number of things.

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Early on the Alzheimer's Society offered to film and edit a 30 minute video of Jackie and her life - starring Jackie, me and the family.  This was intended to help Jackie remember her life and recognise her friends.  I have to admit that all of us left behind treasure that video though she made very little use of it.

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We checked out our wills and powers of attorney - health and finances.  I strongly recommend doing this as they became invaluable in later days

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In our particular case we owned three investment properties and it made sense to have the solicitors who drew up our wills to create a trust to shelter assets in the event of her death - or mine.  

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I created a website all about Jackie.  An opportunity to list all the amazing things she had done in her life.

 

The big changes that occurred after the diagnosis:

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• Holding hands more

• Me learning to be patient with repetition

• Finding small joys

• Adjusting expectations

• Avoiding arguments that don’t matter

• Learning how to comfort without correcting

 

I made mistakes.

We learned as we went.

We did what we could.

 

If you are at this stage:

there is no “right order” and no ideal version of you that you must suddenly become.

 

Do what’s needed.

Do what’s possible.

Forgive yourself for everything else.

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Next:Chapter 4 - The Long Middle

Previous: Chapter 2 - Telling the Family